THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki

they/he

twenty seven

june fifteenth

solaceon, sinnoh

queer

intel

---

howard

smells bad

5'8" height

words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear

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TAG WITH @choi

Chu-e Choi

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 11, 2021 17:45:24 GMT

Lulu Flint, Zac Ramsay, and 2 more like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","omgen"]

[attr="class","omgentop"] THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

[attr="class","omgenmid"]

SETTING [break]
some fluff for the action!

[break]

"Thank yoooou Rustoboro!" A polite clapping starts from the small crowd. The announcer, a man who looks a lot like Chu-e Choi but isn't Chu-e Choi, has way too much energy for the sleepy people gathered here. "I'm the one and only Chung-Hee Reyes, here to dee-light you all with... drum roll, please." A pre-recorded drum starts to roll.[break][break]

"The Great Hoenn DILF Off!" The cheap mic screeches but the crowd still cheers softly. An old man at the front coughs.[break][break]

"I bet you're all excited to see who we have lined up today... everyone... introduce yourselves!!!"[break][break]

The curtains pull back, revealing jack wainwright, THEO BECKETT, Cardamom Bliss' dad, wren rourke, luka chêne, Gwyar Wledig, kim cole-essam, and Zac Ramsay....[break][break]

BUT ALSO, A SURPRISE, since Kazimir Wynter, Cillian Quinn, and Raphael Pryde are there, too! Looks like the creator felt bad about eliminating everyone so we have eleven contestants instead of eight! Who knew!

[break][break]

PROMPT [break]
what you gotta do!

[break]

For this Prompt, you will need to fulfill a few tasks. Let's keep it easy and smooth for round one before getting crazy.[break][break]

- Introduce yourself to the crowd![break]
- Pick a number you like the best, from 1-17. Each number can only be picked once![break]
- Use the Roll command once!
[break]

It's not completely up to random chance, though... if you fulfill these Mini-Prompts, you will get + 5 for each one you cram into your post![break][break]

- Accept or decline a Dad Mustache[break]
- Have your character say the word 'groovy'.[break]
- Brag about how good of a dad you are.[break]
- Make at least 3 dad jokes.[break]
- Have your character wear some type of board shorts, socks with sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt.[break]
- Try to give someone advice they didn't ask for.[break]
- Think about something from when your character was a kid.
[break][break]

[break][break]

DAD-BOTAGE [break]
you're one bad dad!

[break]

Oh now! DADbotages! These are like sabotages, only worse![break][break]

Once per round, you may pick ONE other contestant and try to keep them from earning points! Or worse, have them lose points they already earned![break][break]

This is optional, just state if you are using it or not. In order to Dadbotage, mention what your character is doing and to who in your post, then use the Roll command. If you get 51 or higher, you will succeed, and the dad you selected will get a -30 debuff from their roll... but if you get a 49 or lower, you will fail and get a -15 to your own score! Use this wisely![break][break]

Something special might happen if you try to Dadbotage and hit exactly 50 though....<p>

[break][break]

DEADLINE [break]
keep this in mind!

[break]

Everyone has until October 18th, 11:59 PM EST to post for this round! If you fail to meet the deadline, you character will be eliminated!

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played by

giz

golden boy

cute

twenty-seven

september 23

slateport city

najwa

narcissist

who knows

najwa essam

married

311 height

let's come to terms- and embrace it. concur, admit, concede, and face it. i'm cute~

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TAG WITH @kim

kim cole-essam

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 11, 2021 19:33:36 GMT

cait alfric, Cillian Quinn, and 3 more like this

Kim claps his hands in the air, walking from one side of the stage to the other- dad ‘stache nicely pressed onto his upper lip- as a winter weight Teddiursa walks from behind the scenes, beatboxing in a rough and grizzly tone into a mic as its free arm swings with a swagger- a dad ‘stache of its own on its face.

Once the bear takes center stage, Kim stands next to him, finalizing his crowd hype by clapping his hands overhead in rhythm to the bear's beatboxing.

“Here we go y’all, now here we go, uh-huh, now here we go y’all here we go y’all, lets go-yuh.”

“Favorite number is 8 because it's as great as me- Councilman comin in to fix the scene. Hypin y’all with the grooviest-moodiest of rhymes, liftin spirits and shiftin’ weight like it's a crime.

Polo neatly pressed cuz’ you know I be dressin', socks and sandals on the feet y’know I gotta address it. Know where I come from? It’s hoenn hon- stay reppin' my region cuz I’m the prodigal son. Golden boy, light of your life, I’m kinda a mouthful, my titles don't end cuz my foes stay spiteful.

Now I can go on and on and on, about my perfection in the flow of this song, but I gotta give em a chance or at least a crumb, cuz the other contestants can barely pat a drum.

My name is Kim Kizzle and I don’t mean to brag, but my rhymes stay fresh cuz I’m the best dad. I got like 8 kids and I'm adoptin’ more, but lemmie pass the mic to my little man on the floor.”

The teddiursa and kim quickly shift roles, Kim beatboxing while the bear began to rap, all the while, Kim hyping it up.

“Teddi-URSA, Teddi-URSA, teddi teddi teddi te-tedditeddi- URSA. teddiursa teddiursa ursa ur-sa ta-teddiursa teddiursa teddiursa. te-ursa ursa ursa ursa teddi-ursa. te-ursa ursa teddi ursa teddiursa.”

The teddiursa shouts into the mic, “TEDDI!” before holding it towards the crowd, Kim instantly picking up what it put down by echoing, “URSA” and urging the audience to join in as the pokemon continued.

“TEDDI!” “URSA!” “TE-TEDDI TEDDI TEDDI TEDDI TEDDI!”

“URSA!” A portion of the crowd joins in with the pokemon’s final urgence before it continues its final verse. “Te-teddi teddi teddi teddi teddi-ursa, Te-teddi teddi teddi ursa. Teddiursa.”

Dropping the mic, the Teddiura turns to its hype man, Kim, hooting and hollering at the bars the pokemon had just dropped- soon moving over to dap up the pokemon before picking it up and moving into the sidelines for others to have their go.

+ dad mustache
+ say groovy
+ brag about dadness
+- got a polo and socks and sandals i dunno if that counts or not
+ talked about when he was a kid (prodigal son-essentially the entirety of his younger years)

CMcybjVh

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played by

Gray

he/she (genderfluid)

November 17

Driftveil City

questioning

trainer

civilian

45 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @cardamombliss

Cardamom Bliss

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 12, 2021 17:15:14 GMT

kim cole-essam, Lulu Flint, and 1 more like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ken1"]

[attr="class","ken2"]Slipping through my fingers

[attr="class","ken3"]
Never let it be said that Kenta Bliss wouldn't do anything for his kids. Which was why he'd ended up on this stage with all these other...well, he was pretty sure some of them were too young to actually be parents. Still, he shook his head when the mustache was offered to him, gesturing at the Walrein loafing beside him. "Hey, no need for that!" he said. "Borchev here's got enough mustache for both of us!" The Walrein tilted his head back and let out a low rumbling roar, showing off the full length of his tusks.[break][break]
"Hello everyone!" he called, waving. "You might already be familiar with the name Bliss from the Hoenn Star Tournament, maybe as a participant or because of our groovy snack stand. Well, I'm Cardamom Bliss' dad Kenta...or maybe you can call me Cardadad?" Cardamom, sitting somewhere in the audience, let out a mix of a squeal and a moan and buried her face in her hands, alongside a few other members of the audience. "What, too cheesy? Well, clearly you've never had one of our bakery's quiches. Now that's cheesy!" That got a bit more of a chuckle, although there were still some groans. "Aw, tough crowd," murmured Kenta, though loud enough for the microphone he was holding to pick up.[break][break]
"As for numbers...well, I'm certainly not picking seven, since it's a cannibal. You all know seven ate nine, right?" He shrugged when that got no reaction. "Yeah, yeah, I know, that's some low-hanging fruit. Well, I finally decided on the number 2, because after all, it's less than three, and when you write that out..." It took a moment as he stood there, before finally demonstrating what he meant and quickly holding up his fingers in a heart shape and lowering them.[break][break]
"Love you too, honey!" called a voice from the crowd, making the man blush. He'd done his best to play up the cheesiness, since that seemed to be what the crowd wanted. He'd even put together as stereotypical an outfit as he could, shorts, socks with sandals, and all. Cori'd even helped sew the Hawaiian shirt from the most garish pineapple-printed fabric she could find.[break][break]
Yet at the same time, he was still just the tiniest bit surprised and awkward at every bit of affection he showed or received here. His parents had never been affectionate when he was younger, slowly going from distant to outright neglectful. He still remembered the day, sitting in the park, when a girl with dark gold hair had sat down next to him on the swings and asked him his name. And now, here he was, with two beautiful children of his own, both smiling from down below despite the fact that he was embarrassing them at the same time.[break][break]
"And hey, I can bake! That makes me the best dad for spoiling my kids, right?" he added as a final finish. He heard a few "yeahs" from the crowd, in very familiar voices, and smiled.[break][break]
w4BEu3lp+30

[attr="class","ken4"]

[attr="class","ken5"]dad jokes; 4

[attr="class","ken5"]tags;@tag

[attr="class","ken5"]notes picked number 2, dad mustache, groovy, 3 dad jokes, dad outfit, bragging, reminiscing about his past

[attr="class","ken6"]

[attr="class","copyright"]new york station

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played by

noodles

beck

he/him

thirty-eight

march 11th

cinnabar

bisexual

human resources

underboss

829 height

HIDING FROM THE SUN, WAITING FOR THE NIGHT TO COME.

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TAG WITH @theo

THEO BECKETT

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 13, 2021 11:31:49 GMT

kim cole-essam, Lulu Flint, and 1 more like this

all it takes to disguise himself is a sleek pair of sunglasses, and suddenly he's no longer theo beckett, rocket admin, but elio nackett, dilf.

the DAD MUSTACHE definitely helps as well — it actually looks eerily similar to the one his own dad had, or at least what he remembered seeing when he was a kid.

"hello. i'm elio nackett, it's real groovy to meet you all. i'm a stay-at-home dad. my skills are being the best dad, and cooking. oh, and i pick number sixteen."

he smooths out a wrinkle on his pink hawaiian shirt before sliding his hands into the pockets of his board shorts. his toes wiggle a little in their sandals, perhaps excited and maybe even a little nervous.

then, he looks to kim cole-essam.

"also, bit of advice for dad kim: is kim kizzle really the best name? why not kimikaze? or kimberly?"

mo4WhGoQ +30

notes
- picked number 16
- accept or decline a dad mustache (+5)
- have your character say the word 'groovy' (+5)
- brag about how good of a dad you are (+5)
- have your character wear some type of board shorts, socks with sandals, and a hawaiian shirt (+5)
- try to give someone advice they didn't ask for (+5)
- think about something from when your character was a kid (+5)
@dilfs
☉

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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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Deleted

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 17, 2021 19:34:29 GMT

kim cole-essam and Lulu Flint like this

[attr="class","wren"]

okay, so maybe wren had decided to do this as a joke. he wasn't a dad, in any shape or form unless his pokemon counted, but the idea of there being an actual <i>dilf-off</i> was too funny to pass up. did he know what the fuck a dilf was supposed to do? well, no, but he was trying his best; even if his best involved showing up in a hawaiian shirt, board shorts and the fashion disaster that was socks with sandals. he thinks it's funny, in a way, because as a kid he would have fought tooth and nail against wearing any of this, even as a joke.

but any embarrasment he would have had as a kid is pushed aside, because he got this neat dad mustache people were offering, even if it was too dark to match his hair color and had trouble sticking on. managing his best dilf voice, which was some attempt at just making his voice deeper, wren gave an awkward thumbs up and a groovy." to the poor person handing out dad mustaches. he's about to torment the poor soul with dad jokes, to get the hang of them, but realizes he's up next.

scrambling up to the stage, he takes the microphone a bit awkwardly. "what did-" he pauses, perfects his dilf voice again, and continues. "what did one ocean say to the other?" there's no answer from the crowd, and wren is already inwardly kicking himself for deciding to make dumb dad jokes in front of everyone. it's too late now, and he has to continue this regardless of it's the most embarrassing thing he's done or not. "nothing, they just waved!" the crowd, reasonably, doesn't laugh at his horrible jokes, but he's nothing if not determined so he continues. "why do skeletons stay so calm? because nothing gets under their skin!" just one more joke, wren assures himself, and then he can crawl under something and never come out once this is all over. "when does a joke become a dad joke? when the punch line becomes apparent?" trying to ignore how absolutely embarrassed he was, wren struggles to regain any of his dignity he'll have left after this.

"i'm wren haykov, and- i'm definitely a better dad than these guys. i can cook-" a lie. not that it matters since he's lying about being a dilf anyways. "-and clean, and my kids can agree that i'm the best dad." his nonexistent kids. which aren't going to agree because they're not real. "oh! and i pick number...fourteen?"

a bit abruptly, he scrambles off of stage as fast as he had showed up, fixing his mustache with one hand.

- picked number 14
- introduced himself
- wore board shorts, socks with sandals, and a hawaiian shirt (+5)
- thought about something from when he was a kid (+5)
- accepted a dad mustache (+5)
- said the word 'groovy' (+5)
- made at least 3 dad jokes (+5)
- bragged about how good of a 'dad' he is (+5) (yes he does the cooking yes he does the cleaning)

[attr="class","wizzcred"]❤ wizz

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WofjutJY

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played by

kodiak

Pokkenger

he/him

Nov. 25

Ballonlera, Galar

bisexual

vigilante

ex-elite four

single

6 ft 3 in height

victory is in the pocket!

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TAG WITH @kazimir

Kazimir Wynter

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 18, 2021 5:56:51 GMT

kim cole-essam likes this

                           TAGGING @contest


[attr="class","pokkenger"]
he wondered what his dad would say if he saw him now. dressed up in a matching set of an alolan palm shirt and khaki shorts alongside his incineroar as the two of them walked onto the stage with the clopping of sandals accompanying them as they made their way. the sunlight above reflected off their sunglasses and the rays made their lustrousdad mustaches gleam in its light. clearly they were very much prepared to partake in this kind of competition.

"groovy...how kind of you folks to invite me and tigger here onto this little competition! i know the 2 of us are kinda young to be quote unquote 'dads' but let me tell ya folks, even a young guy like me has raised the most precious of babies, taught them all they know about surviving out there in this big scary world! so don't worry folks, we'll be sure to knock your socks off so hard you'll HAVE to wear sandals!" with that the pair suddenly posed back to back leaning on one another flashing the crowd a toothy grin.


+ had my character say "groovy"
+ came dressed up in hawaiin shirts and shorts with sandals
+ bragged about them being some good dads
+ chooses number 2 as our contest number
xHtPEADy

[newclass=.pokkenger b]font-weight:bold;color:#44d4e4;[/newclass]

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played by

fish

sleeping beauty

she/her

July 15

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual

public relations

rising star

do you think

we could have been happy

446 height

she looks like, if you bit her, honey and milk would flow from her

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2,003 posts

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TAG WITH @luka

luka chêne

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 19, 2021 1:24:55 GMT

kim cole-essam likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","siege"]

[attr="class","top"]

[attr="class","main"]

After just a few moments of seizing up the crowd, Luka feels like she's made a bad decision.[break][break]
She's probably the least eligible DILF to have ever existed— though in truth, she didn't sign up for this contest for her. It's the Blaziken at her side who she's spotlighting today; tall and burly, and looking none to happy about the Alolan shirt and cargo shorts he's wearing (they tried sandals, it didn't work).[break][break]
But she's playing along, wearing a similar outfit and even donning a fake mustache in solidarity. Helios had brusquely denied the one offered to him.[break][break]
This is supposed to be a bonding opportunity, but it's already off to a pretty rocky start. Luka is nervous and fidgeting as they join the other competitors onstage, while Helios looks ready to fight anyone who looks at him wrong. She laughs a little and waves out to the crowd, though makes sure their eyes are on the Blaziken. Well, that much is unavoidable— hard not to stare at the giant chicken in dad clothes and sunglasses.[break][break]

"H-howdy, everyone!" Her poor attempt at putting on some dad energy is enough to make her cringe. But Luka presses on anyways so she can properly present her DILF to the crowd (Dad I'd Like to be Friends With). "I'm Luka...but the man of the hour is Helios!" She does a Will Smith pose at her Blaziken, who looks unamused and folds his arms. "D-don't let his tough exterior fool you! He's got a real heart of gold!" Helios snorts. "He can totally cook, he's great with kids...and wouldn't you know it! He's got some real groovy dance moves! T-the competition's on fire with him around, so keep your eyes on him!"[break][break]

Their relationship is tenuous at best. Grief and animosity still blankets the space between them, a gap Luka has yet to bridge. That's why she's signed up for this silly competition in the first place; another one of her attempts to get closer to him. She can still remember the fondness Helios used to hold for her, a feeling she hopes is still buried beneath all his resentment and fury. She remembers sitting on his knee as a child, cooing and petting his feathers. She remembers him bandaging her knees when she feel off her bike, and protecting her from a swarm of Rattata when she went off to play by herself.[break][break]

Somewhere in those piercing blue eyes is the paternal affection he had for her before they lost Eugene. And she's determined to bring it out again.[break][break]

[break][break]

- Choosing the number four![break]- Accept or decline a Dad Mustache[break]
- Have your character say the word 'groovy'.[break]
- Brag about how good of a dad you are.[break]
- Have your character wear some type of board shorts, socks with sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt.[break]
- Think about something from when your character was a kid.[break]

u6SgB2h3

[attr="class","bottom"]

[attr="class","name"]luka chêne

[attr="class","subtxt"]I don't know anything with certainty,[break]
But the sight of the stars makes me dream

[attr="class","pkmn"]

[attr="class","credit"]
milky

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played by

D-Bug

The Robust

He/Him/His

Twenty-Eight

October 30th

Bevaridge Town

Biomesexual

Pokemon Educator/Vlogger/Biome Enthusiast

Avatar/Gym Leader/Elite Ranger

Ramsay Productions

All these little buggers have a little magic in 'em

685 height

See ya later, Feraligatr!

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TAG WITH @zac

Zac Ramsay

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 19, 2021 1:53:35 GMT

kim cole-essam likes this

[attr="class","zac"]

Zac wiped away some of his tears, still chuckling at the hilarious cheesy lines from Cardamom Bliss 's Dad and the barrage of jokes from wren rourke . "Wish I'd brought my pepper spray, because you guys are a riot!" he said, as his wild grin threatened to dislodge the fake mustache that Zac had stuck over his existing facial hair.

"But while I don't have anything to defend myself from your deadly senses of humor, I do have Sneg!" Zac pointed up to the three vacant-eyed heads of his Exeggutor. Each of the faces wore a luxurious fake mustache. "I wanted to bring Kibou but I had to bring Sneg for legal reasons, in case I die during the contest," Zac said. He managed to keep his expression deadpan for a few seconds before his trademark grin bubbled to the surface along with the punchline. "After all, he's the Exeggutor or my will."

"And I know how it feels to be getting on in years. I've been finding myself drawn to wild locations." He waved to Kazimir Wynter , his partner in crime when it came to ruin raiding. "We've been out in the desert, exploring, digging into ancient tombs. I've been trying to recapture the excitement of my youth. Call it a pyramid life crisis," he said, chuckling.

"And do you know the best footwear for exploring the desert?" Zac asked. "Sandals!" He took a few steps towards the crowd, his sock/sandal combo clearly visible.

The sandals were clearly worn, and the socks had a fossil pattern which matched the living Omanytes swimming across his Alolan shirt. The 'matching' socks and shirt combo were kept apart by a dark brown belt and a pair of khaki board shorts, which gave the outfit the impression of stratified stone.

"luka chêne !" Zac called, waving to the trainer. "You should get that Blaziken behind a barbecue. I bet he'd be a champion. Nothing groovier than a flame-grilling chicken!"

Ahl|4G9b + 30

Picking #12
+ Accepted four Dad Mustaches
+ Said the word 'groovy'
+ Made at least 3 dad jokes
+ Wore board shorts, socks with sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt
+ Gave someone advice they didn't ask for
+ Thought briefly about exploring as a kid

Sneg M Frisk/Dragon Hammer, Wood Hammer, Giga Drain, Solar Beam, Leech Seed, Iron Head

Chu-e Choi kim cole-essam Cardamom Bliss wren rourke THEO BECKETT Kazimir Wynter luka chêne

[newclass=.zac b] color: #d4654a; [/newclass]

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played by

King

Lloyd Kvar

he/him

October 24

Married

Scientist

Ex-Head Scientist

203 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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DOLLARS

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TAG WITH @pryde

Raphael Pryde

THE GREAT HOENN DILF OFF

POSTED ON Oct 19, 2021 7:24:20 GMT

kim cole-essam and Hideo Kino like this

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People always said that all work and no play made Jack a dull boy. Though after seeing the oddness of this little contest in order to have himself a little break from the labs maybe he should've stayed back. [break][break]

Oh well, he was here now and he was going to make the most of it. As one of those in charge was handing out the extra mustaches Raphael turns it down with a smile as he strokes his own glorious beard. "And ruin this? No thank you," he gives a small chuckle as he stands by the side while the other's try their turn. [break][break]

[break]

Now after the big man was done it was his turn, walking up with an alolan style shirt. Though wanting to keep with the spooky season, he made sure to bear one with a ghostly pattern surly to send chills down the spines of all. "Morning Hoenn, I am Doctor Lloyd Kvar, though my kid just calls me dad," he chuckles at his own joke as he thinks how best to describe himself. [break][break]

"Admittedly I'm still in recovery so my skills in home aren't the best, but at least I know with the new prosthetic I'll always be in style," he shows off his right arm a bit as he takes the hand in his left, "as anyone can pull it off," and as on cue he does remove the robotic hand from his missing arm. "Just ask Mr Zac Ramsay i'm sure he finds what he pulled off quite handy"[break][break]

With that he does reattach the hand to his arm as he learns toward the audience as pretends as if he's whispering to them, though he doesn't speak any softer. But his voice still carries a humorist tone to it, "Learn to pick your battles kids"[break][break]

bf3OoXxJ +20

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+ @dilf_Off
[break]+ Number: 11
[break]+ decline a Dad Mustache
[break]+ Make at least 3 dad jokes.
[break]+ Have your character wear some type of board shorts, socks with sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt.
[break]+ Try to give someone advice they didn't ask for.

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ROTOM | Levitate | HEX, ELECTRO BALL, DISCHARGE, DOUBLE TEAM, OMINOUS WIND, SHOCK WAVE

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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